Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Why Don't You Just Go home

I never asked to meet you. Neither did I not want to meet you. This is going to sound a little weird. But I hate how nice you are. How seemingly carefree your life is, albeit the little bumps that dissolve through the week. But alas, there is a huge thorn in my ass.

I don't see how you can live your life like this. How can you do this everyday and not feel guilty. Why drag me into your 'fun' everyday and screw my life up so subtly? I should have listened to her. I should have listened to her. I should have listened to her.

Never did I expect so much to change in such a short time span of about 6-7 months. Why me. I guess this could just be puberty, but I can't blame everything on hormones right? Right. The reason as to why my life is like this is still unknown to mankind, but I have a theory. And that theory is that I'm such an idiot that I can't even control myself. Home is a wonderful place. Home is Sweet, hence the popular phrase," HOME SWEET HOME." But recently Home hasn't really been Sweet. Quite the opposite for that matter. The probability of Death is high, and I am ever so tempted to boost that probability to 100%, but then again, that'd be pretty stupid considering how much I'm risking.

Music was never my 'thing'. But after a certain string of events that occurred, I am suddenly deeply interested in playing the Guitar. That could be my downfall. Along with the Computer, Rock Band 1/2 , Guitar Hero: World Tour etc. Where has my Discipline gone to? Is it under my bed? Is it hidden among my clothes? Could it even be in that dusty shoe box lying in the dark corner of the storeroom? I don't know. I really don't know. As much as I would LOVE to know, I don't. Discipline, I have lost. But the ability to grow a New Discipline still resides within me. It's time to focus now. This is crucial for my future. That much I understand. But it's the Process that really bites me. Sacrifice and concentration aren't a few of my good attributes. But I can try.

How did I turn out like this? WHEN did I turn out like this? WHY did I turn out like this? No idea. But I have to change. For the better. CONCENTRATE. FOCUS. LET IT GO. LET IT ALL GO. I'm sorry guys. But this is the way it was meant to be.

See you again in 30+/- days.

BOTTLED 7:57 PM l 0 Bottle(s)