I had a revelation yesterday.
I realized that my tendency to avoid conflict and preserve the self has prevented a lot of things from developing and growing.
I guess the things i listed as reasons were more of examples of a bigger issue.
I cannot trust that the support i need will be there in the important times.
And yet i still hope, i still dream, i still yearn.
This is my way of being careful, this is my way of being considerate.
Sucks tho.